It was 3 months tomorrow that I fell into a deep sadness; a profound disappointment.  Disappointment from the words of another, yes, but more the onset of a deeper, more penetrating disappointment in my ability to cope, to accept, to understand, to live with.  I closed my heart with the familiar and time-worn response that sustained me in my youth – “You can’t treat me like this.”  I’m better now, but still in shock about just how long it has taken me to, almost, recover.

I am almost there with acceptance but the disappointment has turned into sadness.  I’m sad for the loss of an intangible; a broken bond – an intangible previous ability “be with” an unpleasant situation; a “be withness” that I have lost, perhaps forever.


I’ve found two items that in some ways capture my new state.  See below:

“If a friend stops speaking with you because they believed gossip about you without even asking you “your side,” then you didn’t really lose a friend.

You only lost a person who didn’t trust or believe in you…and that’s not really a loss at all.

It hurts because it feels unfair, and you would not have treated them the same way. But if that’s the choice they’ve made, you can really only accept it and let them go.

Even if you convince them this time, the absence of trust will not have changed, and will continue to hurt you in every future circumstance.”

Doe Zantamata
“Who you spend time with and who you believe is a major factor that will determine whether you are successful or not. Our aim should be to hang with people who are loving, who believe in us, who challenge us to go to the next level and who inspire us. Life is far too short to hang with people who are always negative and who want you to stay bitter and pissed off like them. It takes a lot of humility to admit when we’re wrong and to grow past our limiting beliefs. Let’s surround ourselves with people who support our growth, not necessarily the way we want, but most certainly the way we need.”


June 27, 2011 by Mastin Kipp